#ask a dr.com
Ask a Doctor!
You’re fat with questions.
We all are.
That’s why I’ve assembled a crack team of doctors specializing in every conceivable subject to answer any question that could ever be thought. Ever.
Sure it was a bit of an undertaking and i had to invest my entire family’s fortune, but I think it was worth it.
1.Email a specific question to a specific doctor, whether they specialize in that subject or not.
Dr. Science “I don’t know where you heard that, but acid does NOT make for a fun trip. It gets everywhere and dissolves flesh.”
Dr. HU-mahn “I am a normal human specimen, and not from any other planet but Earth.”
Dr. Robot ” Dr. Robot comes equipped with the latest AnswerMePlease software, version 3.10.”
Dr. Cotillion “If a lady is about to release undesirable vapours, she is advised to quickly remove a small article or clothing, such as a glove or hat, and begin auctioning it off to a preferably large crowd of gentlemen, so as to muffle any undesirable music.”
Dr. Witch-doctor “i give you snake poison to drink. ‘n dat make you shake aroun’ to get de bad spirits from out cho body.”
Dr. War “I’ve crushed every damn opponent i’ve ever faced, from my twin in the womb, to the KGB in the cold war.”
Dr. Chef “In the microwave, a healthy hampster will pop when your potato has cooked about halfway through. So, when microwaving potatoes, be sure to always have at least two fresh hampsters.”
Dr. Conspiracy “No comment.”
Dr. Makeup “Together, we’ll let the person you think you want to be shine through your naturally hideous face!”
Dr. Professional “A firm handshake and an uncomfortable amount of eye contact tells the man in front of you ‘submit to me, or i’ll crush you.'”
Dr. Future “In the FUTURE, the fabric of time will be unraveled and with it, man will weave a new destiny.”
*please note that sometimes the doctors answer each other’s mail by mistake or for revenge.