#islamic questions and answers
Seeing a Prophet in your dream?
salam, my friend saw a dream in 2011, that her both sisters (one of them with his husband) are going and she ran away after them to stop them but she saw Prophet Essa in front of her, grabbing her neck saying let them go. what does it mean.
Torn between getting divorce or staying married
Assalamu Alaikum. I will make my story short, I was married for the past two years and had daughter and son alhamdulillah. Our marriage was not a good one from the start my parents don t agree because my husband had so many failed marriages in the past. But, his marriages in the past was not like ours that was attended by many people including our parents and relatives, his marriage before was not formal unlike in ours that was with complete papers.
However, before I gave birth to our first child he went back to Metro Manila to had some business there I didn t go with him because I had my work in our place, unfortunately he married again an OFW who is supposedly going back to Saudi. The parents of the girl was not there and as I heard the father don t agreed but the woman insisted.
The sad part was that the parents of the girl get one of our assets which was worth more than 100 thousand because according to them it was a payment for what they did. According to my research my husband tried to give money as Mahr but they didn t accept because it was from haraam business but instead get our asset which was triple the amount of the money for the Mahar here in the Philippines. I don t know if my husband order it or what because that time the asset was in the guidance of his older sister.
After my husband got married he bring the girl in our place but the girl was still hiding from her parents and until now she was not able to come home and even my husband didn t talk to the parents formally.
It was where our life started to fall down we always fight and we had said many hurtful things to each other, he even said that he wants divorce with me but change his words afterwards. After a month of staying in our place he needs to go back to Manila to find money to support the needs of the girl, he don t give support to us often since I have my own money.
After I gave birth to our second child he became good to me again and told me that he was so sorry for all that he did to me, but he was asking me that I will let the girl his second wife stay in the house that we build so that he can stay in our place and just find a decent job with small income. I did not agree I told him that I will stay in my parents house where I stay now and let the girl live there. He told me that people will judge him and beside I was the one with work, I feel like he was just using me.
Now I am confuse with my decisions, I had my career and I can support my children even if without him but there was this hope also that I should try holding on because maybe the second wife will go back to abroad and we can have a happy life again. But, in my analysis of the situation I know that it will be forever like this very unstable and full of problems especially that he was again communicating with his exes.
I want to divorce him to stay away from this very complicated life but at the same time I want many children and not just two and I don t want that the father of my other children is different guy and also I want to spend my whole life with the guy whom I gave my virginity and don t want to marry another guy.
But there were questions lingering my mind if I divorce him how can i have other children if I have no more husband? But, if I don t divorce him i can t stay like this. We are married but he failed to do his responsibilities and I still can t forgive him for what he did although now we are not fighting anymore but he is still away from us. I can t ask him to go home because he has no source of income here in our place and unlike before that I am willing to support our needs and he just need to find work even with low salary because we can already have a simple life. But now it is hard for him to do that because he has another responsibility.
I am not willing anymore to help in his responsibilities with his other sons because I was hurt so much with what he did. I can t take the fact that the girl his other wife can use my money, that is why I am not willing anymore to have a conjugal property with him because I feel like I was already cheated when the parents of the girl get our asset which I help in acquiring and now is being used by her parents.
I am also considering the fact that he is doing other haraam business in which I am against ever since and it seems like there is no way for him to stop that business since that is his only source of income.
I was thinking that if he can t do his responsibilities as a husband and father to our children and if we can t live together then what s the sense of this marriage? He told me that he will stop his haraam business if he can get capital then he will come home and he will just give the other girl capital to start a small business but what if he can t get capital or if it takes many years before it happen then I will just live this kind of life?